Sometimes there’s no point in trying to prolong a relationship, especially when the best days appear to be behind you. This might seem cruel and heartless but I will try and persuade you otherwise.
In order to sustain a meaningful relationship, both parties need to experience some kind of benefit, perhaps not always in the same way or in equal measure but it needs to be there none the less. Often we don’t fully appreciate or understand just what the benefit is at the time. Because of this, it is logical to conclude that for every relationship there is an end date; an undisclosed point in time where at least one of the two parties no longer sees the reason in maintaining the relationship with the other.
In our lives, employers come and go; good friends and lovers too. Unfortunately when they do, someone almost always feels left behind and suffers the pain of abandonment or grief. But sometimes having the guts to admit when the time has come to end a relationship is important if we are to live strong, sincere and fulfilled lives.
To protect ourselves we like to draw up contracts to give a sense of security to the fragility of our relationships. Marriage contracts: in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer until death do us part; Employment contracts with their pages of detailed conditions and expectations, indicating durations of service that can vary from just a few hours to a life time of commitment until retirement.
Having said all this, I believe there’s nothing worse than failing to celebrate the joys and achievements of relationships while they are still ongoing. I am not just talking about romantic notions of love and adventure but also about the deeper aspects of partnerships in all their forms.
According to legend, poor old St. Valentine paid the ultimate price for trying to bring two people together, I guess you can say he was a matchmaker/headhunter with an attitude, driven by divine belief of the importance of true and natural relationships. However St. Valentine’s actions displeased the emperor of Rome so much that he had him brutally beaten and tortured, eventually beheading him in AD 269.
So today of all days, let’s not let St. Valentine’s life be in vain. Life is short and there is much to do. And apart from aiming to live each day to the full, we should also celebrate the diversity that forms the basis of our relationships and embrace the riches they deliver. And when it is time to say goodbye – we must say it, with the deepest sincerity and pureness of heart. But not today, hey?
Have a good week,